


Rat and Halex in: Rainy Day Rivalry

by DDDragoni



Series: Tacos on Siesta [4]
Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Unlimited Tacos (Blaseball Team)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:48:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29411445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DDDragoni/pseuds/DDDragoni
Summary: Halexandrey Walton is stuck inside bored on a rainy day, when she finds Rat Mason raiding the pantry. Shenanigans ensue.
Series: Tacos on Siesta [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2025218
Kudos: 2





	Rat and Halex in: Rainy Day Rivalry

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this mostly finished since Siesta but with it almost over I should probably actually get around to posting it, huh

The rare autumn rainstorm beat down across the streets of the infinite Los Angeli, cascading off roofs and collecting in gutters and fields, and Halexandrey Walton was bored. Normally, mundane weather like rain wasn’t much of an issue for her- the Immaterial Plane had its own weather, and even when the sky drips blood, in Blaseball, play must continue. But now, with the ILB too tangled up in litigation to begin the next season, Hex found herself with nothing better to do than stare out the window at the puddles slowly forming outside the Unlimited Tacos clubhouse. She couldn’t even go out and chase the squirrels and birds- the rain had them all cooped up in their dens and nests as well.

Hex stood up with a stretch and yawn before turning away from the window and padding through the uncharacteristically quiet hallways. She’d try and get someone to toss some blaseballs for her, but most of the other team members were absent or busy- Val was cooped up in their room working on a poem, Vito was off somewhere trying to pawn an overpriced used car on some poor sap, and Basilio was at a photo shoot. Peanut and Fig had both taken a trip to their hometowns to visit family, and Sexton was at some sort of meeting for the top five players on the idol board. Even McDowell had headed off into the woods for “a Sasquatch thing” that he would rather keep private from the rest of the team. That only left...

Hex was shaken from her thoughts as her sharp ears picked up a faint rustling noise from the kitchen. Rushing over there as fast as her paws could carry her, she burst through the door to see the Tacos’ remaining player, Rat Mason, standing in front of the open pantry, looking at the door like a deer in headlights. Snack boxes were scattered on the floor around them, crumbs and wrappers strewn across the floor, but most damning of all was the box they were eating from- Basilio’s treasured stash of discontinued Twlinkies the “do not touch” sticky note cruelly cast aside. Rat swallowed and grinned sheepishly as Hex began to growl, her hackles raised as she advanced towards them. 

“Whoa, whoa, easy now, Hex,” Rat said, taking a step backwards for every one Hex made towards them. “There’s no need to tell anyone else about this- look, you keep this quiet, I’ll split the Twlinkies with you, okay? We can just tell them a raccoon got in or something, happens all the time! I know you’ve always wanted to try one- do we have a deal? ACK!” Rat dove out of the way as Hex lunged for the box, scurrying out of the kitchen as her jaws snapped shut inches from the cardboard. They rushed towards the living room, the coyote hot on their heels as they sprinted onto the lounge and leapt onto the back of McDowell’s favorite reading chair. Hex tried to follow but misjudged the jump, slamming in the back of the chair, sending both it and Rat toppling to the ground, causing them to lose their grip on the box, which sailed across the room, landing on top of the filing cabinet where Al Pastor stored all the team’s paperwork.

Rat was the first to recover, quickly scampering up the side of the filing cabinet and out of Hex's reach. "Ha ha! Nice try, but you can't beat me at- hey whoa wait what are you doing?" Hex was up on her hind paws, putting all of her weight onto the side of the cabinet, making it lean ever so slightly to the side. She pushed slightly off the surface before landing back on it, causing the cabinet to wobble and throwing Rat off balance. "Whoa, whoa, let's not be hasty now!" Hex slammed the cabinet again and again, throwing it further and further off balance, until it finally tipped over and crashed to the ground with a horrid metallic screech.

Like most things Al Pastor brought to the team, the filing cabinet was cheap and bad at playing blaseball, so as soon as it hit the ground it burst apart, sending papers flying everywhere and Rat into a roll. They slammed into the couch in the center of the room, scrambling to their feet and diving out of the way as Hex lept after them, burying her face in the couch cushions. She struggled for a moment to free herself, but pushed against the couch too hard and sent herself flying backwards until she crashed into the wall, the impact sending several of the Tacos’s Participation Awards plummeting to the ground.

Hex shook her head to clear the stars from her vision, then looked up to see Rat perched on the ceiling fan, breathing heavily. “Okay, you gave it a good go, but I think it’s time to call it quits. There’s no way you can- ACK!” Hex gathered all her energy beneath her and LEAPT upwards, grabbing onto the center if the fan with her front paws as Rat backed up slowly out onto one of the blades, but as she began to haul herself upwards, both of them froze as they heard a cracking sound and felt a slight shudder. Hex and Rat looked each other in the eyes for the brief moment before the ceiling gave way under their weight, sending dust and rubble cascading everywhere as they fell.

The door of the clubhouse lounge burst open, and Valentine Games stormed in. “What in the hell is-” She fell silent, dumbstruck by the scene she found before her. The lounge was in shambles, furniture upturned, paperwork fluttering amongst the dust, the ceiling fan dangling several feet below the ruins of the ceiling, and Hex draped haphazardly over the slowly swinging blades, with Rat dangling from her tail.

Rat looked up at Val and grinned sheepishly. “Oh, hey Val. You, uh, want a Twlinkie?”


End file.
